I know I said that my next column would be the much-anticipated 2009 Year In Review, but Christmas came early for all you [Mad]Dog Lovers: a bonus column about Thrash Wrestling's Super Evil Bloody Death Hell Elimination Tournament VIII, held December 6 in Enderby!
Technically, there were two Super Evil events this year (Super Evil VII was in February), but that was because scheduling conflicts kept Thrash Wrestling from holding their annual bloodlust event at the end of 2008. But the boys down in Vancouver had two Extreme Rules Rumble events in 2009, too, so I guess great wrestling minds think alike? To be fair, I have noticed that a lot of promotions throughout North America have brutal hardcore-themed shows in December; I guess that is the only way to convince people to spend money this time of year on wrestling, rather than on presents?
Jesus died for your sins, and wrestlers bleed to death for a (tiny) portion of your Christmas dollars...
As you know from my December 5 column, I had an emergency appendectomy on December 1...so there was no way in Hell that I was going to be competing in a Hardcore Tournament on December 6. Meanwhile, The Mauler got his car smashed up outside his house and was left stranded in Prince George, so that meant the two biggest bulls on the original card were not going to be in action: this year's tournament was wide open! I was there in attendance, however, to sell the new MAD DOG'S RRREADY!!! t-shirts, which were a big hit. Get yours soon, before they sell out!
The show started off with Commissioner LaBounty addressing the controversial situation surrounding the Thrash Wrestling Title. As you should be aware by know, "2010 Superstar" Seth Knight suffered a serious knee injury in Campbell River on September 26, and until a few weeks ago could barely even walk...let alone think about defending the TW strap. On October 31, "Hardcore" Mike More won a Costume Battle Royale to be declared Number One Contender to the title...but the winner of Super Evil VIII would also be declared the Number One Contender. More was pretty annoyed at this concept, until LaBounty provided the packed Enderby Drill Hall with an interesting solution: Knight's long-time friend and tag partner, The Great Kasaki had been declared Interim Champion, and would be defending the title that very night against More!
But first, the three tournament semifinals; all fought under "anything goes" rules, with the winners meeting in a Three-Way Barbwire Match for the monstrous Super Evil trophy. Friar MacBeth opened the show against "The Greaser" Ronnie Angel, who was making his Thrash debut. This was a great match, for me, as I got to watch two of the wrestlers I like the least, beat the piss out of each other. Greaser was in control for much of the match, but got way to cocky--verbally assaulting one of the women in the audience, particularly--and it lead to his downfall: The Friar put him through a table for the pinfall.
Up next was Hellion and Slave, and Enderby's Favorite Son came out with a chip on his shoulder: Slave had guaranteed victory in this tournament as far back as August 20, and was determined to avoid an upset at the hands of Enderby's upstart young luchador. Hellion kept pace with Slave for a while, but then--to put it bluntly--Slave beat the snot out of his masked foe: busting him open hardway with a head-first smash into the cement wall. A dazed Hellion fought back, but it was mostly out of desperation, and Slave was able to put his opponent away in convincing fashion, driving him through a pile of thumbtacks in the process.
The final qualifying match was Minion against another guy making his Thrash debut: Scorpio Knightmare. I knew that Scorpio was a player in the Washington-based Pro Wrestling Beyond, but had never seen his work: he definitely impressed the capacity crowd with his high-paced and high-flying offense. He had the much-larger Minion reeling on more than one occasion, but Minion was eventually able to grind things down and trap Scorpio in the Hell's Gate: a kind of inverted Boston Crab, that caused Scorpio to pass out. It was definitely the best match of Minion's that I have ever seen: both guys really impressed me.
So the Barbwire Finale was set: Friar MacBeth, Minion, and Slave. But first, the TW Title! This was a spirited contest, with both men pulling out all the stops to take home the championship. Kasaki got busted open after being bashed first-first into the ringpost, but he returned the favor by whacking More in the face with a barbwire baseball bat...and "The Celebrity from Enderby" was bleeding like the proverbial stuck pig. The crowd was thoroughly behind More, but Kasaki was looking dominant: brutally hitting More with the barbwire bat...over and over and over again. And then Kasaki inadvertantly spit his dreaded Green Mist into the eyes of Referee Don Andrews, who was blind to Kasaki's ensuing pinfall. As Andrews stumbled out of the ring, More mounted a valiant comeback and drove Kasaki through a table...and Head Official (and handler of yours truly), Big Steve McCarthy, left the announcers' booth to administer the three-count: Mike More is the new Trash Wrestling Champion!
As More celebrated in the ring with his young son, it reminded me of celebrating in the ring with Zoe after winning the Okanagan-Interior Title. It was a touching moment, and the crowd loved it. But the mood, as they say, was about to change...
As the normal ring-ropes were replaced with strands of barbed wire, the crowd knew they were in for something different. Sitting there at the merchandise table, selling MAD DOG'S RRREADY!!! t-shirts like crazy, I wsa frustrated that I couldn't be in the ring battling for the Super Evil Trophy. But then the three men involved started ripping each other to shreds, and I realized that I was pretty comfortable sitting right where I was. Although, to be fair, only two of the men involved were tearing each other to pieces: Minion spent the vast majority of the match either hiding under the ring, or shouting instructions to The Friar.
Meanwhile, Slave and The Friar were slicing and dicing each other to ribbons with the barbwire ropes; and then the barbwire bat came into play, and both men were swinging for the fences. Minion picked his spots, sparingly but with deadly purpose, and it looked like Minion and Friar were going to drive Slave through a table and seal his fate. But Slave fought back valiantly, laying out The Friar and finally getting his hands on Minion. However, the larger Minion was relatively rested, and was able to absorb the assault and finish Slave off with a thunderous tombstone piledriver for the victory.
As the crowd voiced their displeasure (they were firmly rooting for Slave to pull off the victory), Minion kept attacking Slave, until More came out with an eight-foot long fluorescent light tube to chase the Super Evil VIII winner off. More declared that Minion might be the new Number One Contender to the Thrash Wrestling Title, but More wasn't about to let him kill his friend...and then shattered the light tube across Slave's back and neck, declaring that HE wanted to be the one to kill Slave! So much for a kinder, gentler Mike More; although I'm not surprised he went back to his douchebag ways. Anyone that spends more than five minutes talking to that creep can see right through any "nice guy" facade he tries to throw at you.
So there you have it: Minion is the winner of Super Evil VIII and Mike More is the new Thrash Wrestling Champion. How does this affect The Mad Dog? You'll have to wait for my 2009 Year In Review for that info, which will be posted in less than two weeks.
Until next time, Sugar Addicts. Merry Christmas!
HOME
